debris scattered far and wide

im starting to feel you dont really give a damn about me.

or rather, that i give way more of a damn about you than you do i.

oh what am i to do?

what am i to say?

everything i do and say seems to fall flat.

but then somehow,

when the windows of our heart meet,

i feel as if my soul in reaching you

has touched your out reached soul.

and the things you say

they melt me inside and make me sure of your intentions.

sometimes i feel like i'm just a floating log in the ocean.

you won't give a damn about me until you need me.

falling slowly

I don't know you But I want you All the more for that Words fall through me And always fool me And I can't react And games that never amount To more than they're meant Will play themselves out  Take this sinking boat and point it home We've still got time Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice You've made it now  Falling slowly, eyes that know me And I can't go back Moods that take me and erase me And I'm painted black You have suffered enough And warred with yourself It's time that you won

falling slowly - glen hansard

sometimes you can't make it on your own

i hear the train coming, the announcement to stand back has been made.

the platform is buzzing, people start to make their way.

the train in packed and i hate to squeeze.

the train has left without me.

will there be a next train?

love is a commitment.

thats what i've been taught and have been teaching others. but im reconsidering.

that phrase sounds horrible and boring and just so... SUFFOCATING.

like.. commitment? you mean like how i commit to going to the gym every week (fail). i commit to maintaining a healthy diet (fail). i commit to practicing my guitar daily for 2 hours (fail).

its not just the failure, but the thought of being held to another commitment is just not fantastic as i thought love should be.

God is love. God is commitment? i think God is more fantastic than that.

come on. should love be what makes me wanna practice my guitar everyday? and even if i dont, it doesn't mean that i dont love my music and my craft.

shouldn't love be more of a force than human will and perseverance?

call me a hollywood junkie or whatever, but i think they must have gotten SOMETHING about love right. when i see the male protagonist and the female lead, eyes locked on each other, occassionally glancing down at each other's lips in anticipation, i see something much more than commitment.

i see thunder.

i see fire.

i see a million sunsets and roses from all exotic locations.

there is something in me that yearns to love. by this, i dont mean generic love, like love the whole world love. i mean.. romance and hugs and all that girly stuff.

and whats inside of me is not a longing to be committed. there is this tugging, this pushing, this force thats making me long to love. to make another feel my "force". to give warmth. to give smiles. to paint pictures. to write songs.

love is a force. if you pull me towards you, i will pull you towards me. if we keep going in circles, the force will push us out. without a force, we'll simply be at constant speed, cruising. or worse still, at rest.

love is gravity. thats why people fall in love. i gravitate towards you, you gravitate towards me.

love is magnetic.

no love is not a commitment. love is a force. and this force will remain strong forever; or at least, till death do us part.